Erma Bombeck is my favorite humorist writer. Her simple observations on family, friends and life always make me laugh out loud. Here are some of her thoughts on food.
10 Erma Bombeck Food Quotes
1. Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.
2. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
3. Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
4. My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
5. Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I’m taking with me when I go.
6. Never order food in excess of your body weight.
7. Never accept a drink from a urologist.
8. In two decades I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
9. Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
10. In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television.
If you want a good laugh, start with this book.
Weekly Wellness Tally
– 0 – bike rides
– 1 – 1 hour walks
– 3 – jumping jacks or leg kicks while heating up lunch in microwave
– 3 – ½ hour walks at work
– 2 – walks to run errands at plaza across the street (had to get some Halloween cards)
– 2 – ½ hour runs (indoors)
– 0 – ½ hour runs (outdoors)
– 1 – 30 minutes of that cardo, fat burning video
– 2– ½ hour set of leg trashing
– Apples and these teeny seedless oranges are amazingly delightful. I’ve eaten two in the last five minutes.
– The copious abundance of little gherkin pickles I ate this past weekend deserves praise for keeping the cucumber farming and pickling industry alive and well. My maternal grandfather always said “Pickles clean your teeth”. I am pretty sure there is no science behind that statement except for the fact that you does have to keep brushing your teeth to keep from smelling like a large vat of vinegar and dill.
– 0 Chocolate: Apparently, I have erased all memory of eating chocolate this week. I could have eaten some, but nothing…I got nothing in the memory file on this.
See you next week,
Pulse 2014 volunteer at Prevention Partners, Chapel Hill, NC, USA