September 23


Office Rat, The Revenge – Emma Drawbridge

An epic battle of wits has been fought over the last six weeks. There have certainly been times where I have had doubts about my intelligence’s and all because I have failed to capture the office rat. Once the mesh was installed over all possible entry points, I thought this would have been the end of my encounters with the office rat. But that wasn’t to be, perhaps the wire mesh had trapped the office rat inside the office, so instead of nightly visits to eat my laptop power cable, he now seems to be a resident. So how do I evict this unwanted tenant?
After consulting my team of experts (women who work in the same office as me with no pest control experience) it was decided we would source a local remedy from one of the hospital gardeners who seemed to have more experience in these matters. He promptly provided a powder poison and it was placed on the floor of the office. In hindsight instead of paying the gardener for the poison, perhaps we should have negotiated a deal based on results. There was evidence that the powder based poison had been eaten, but no fatalities had occurred. After some office evaluation by my in house team of experts it was concluded that the powder poison would have worked if we had laced something sweet with the powder poison.
I wasn’t in agreement with this conclusion for two reasons, firstly the office rat seemed to like the taste of my laptop power cable, and that wasn’t sweet, also there was clearly some peer pressure for me to sacrifice my marshmallow rice krispies square for the greater good of the team.
I wasn’t happy about it but the marshmallow rice krispies square was covered in the powder poison and left on the office floor as an alluring killer treat.
On return to the office the next morning, as expected the sweet treat had been eaten, but again no fatalities.
Had we unwittingly just purchased a small amount of flour and have we just been feeding this rat? Was my marshmallow rice krispies square sacrifice all in vain?
Emma Drawbridge